31st of July: Kia Oro Piapia Pakeha (G’day Ya DrinkingBluddyForeigners),

I neither confirm or deny this ‘All Black” Whakanui (party!)

But… should you be appropriately attired (B&W), you may be forced through the green hills, past golden beaches, under blue skies and drenched in amber nectar.

Being a Sunday, the faithful kuri (dogs), will no doubt enjoy the pastoral care of the Religious Advisors and the strains of the Choral Ensemble!

Not a bad way to watch the sun go down…

The overseas pack should take the 15:50 Hohoro Reti (Fast Canoe) or the 15:10 – for a pre-lube at the China Bear, where the local SLH3 Nuinga (people) will gather at 16:30 to hear the wisdom of the Mohio Purahorua Rapeti (Clever Scout Rabbit) before setting off on the whati (run or go walk-about, mate!)

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31 of JULY 2016 THE KIWI RUN

RUN #
DATE: SUNDAY 31/07/2016
LOCATION: Mui Wo
TIME: 16,30 pm start, please show up 15 mins early
HARES: Merrin

Run Description:

This month’s run is the Kiwi one an A-to-A run from the China Bear pub in Mui Wo closed to the pier. Some great trails planned by hares. Dress code is required only black and white!

SOUTH LANTAU HASH SONGS FOR THE CIRCLE (you are called to memorize all of them)

DOWN-DOWN SONG (True Blue)
Here’s to __________,
He’s (she’s/they’re) true blue,
He’s (she’s/they’re) a Hasher, through and through,
He’s (she’s/they’re) a Pisspot, so they say,
Tried to go to Heaven,
But he (she/they) went the other way!
Drink It down, down, down . . .

WHY WAS HE BORN SO BEAUTIFUL?
Why was he born so beautiful?
Why was he born at all?
He’s no f***ing use to anyone,
He’s no f***ing use at all?
He may be a joy to his mother,
But he’s a pain in the ass to me.

DOES A HASHER? (Do Your Balls Hang Low?)
Does a hasher like to walk,
Does a hasher like to run,
Does a hasher like to be
Where they’re all having fun?
Can a hasher drink ice cold beer,
While the circle sing and cheer?
Time to drink or wear it, O what the heck,
Do hasher always do, and get it down yer neck!
Down, down, down

S/HE’S ALRIGHT (She’s alright)
S/He’s alright. S/He’s alright.
She’s a little flat chested/He’s got a teeny weeny wiener,
But s/he’s alright Drink it down, down, down . . .

IF YOU’RE A HASHER AND YOU KNOW IT
(If you’re happy and you know it.)
If you’re a Hasher and you know it, raise your beer!
(raise your glass and all together shout raise your glass)
If you’re a Hasher and you know it, raise your beer!
(raise your glass and all together shout raise your glass)
If you’re a Hasher and you know it,
(slurred)Then your slurring will surely show it.
If you’re a Hasher and you know it, raise your beer!
Drink it down, down, down . . .

THEY OUGHT TO BE PUBLICLY PISSED ON
(My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean)
They ought to be publicly pissed on
They ought to be publicly shot (“Bang-bang!”)
They ought to be tied to a urinal
And left there to fester and rot
Drink it down down down down…

YOU AIN’T NOTHIN’ BUT A HASHER
(You Ain’t Nothin’ But a Houndog)
You ain’t nothin’ but a Hasher,
A-drinkin’ all the time!
You ain’t nothin’ but a Hasher,
A- hashin’ all the time!
You ain’t never caught a hare,
But you still a friend of mine!
They said you could find trail,
Well, that was just a lie!
They said you could find trail,
Well that was just a lie!
You ain’t never caught a hare,
But you still a friend of mine!
Drink it down, down, down!
SILENT SOILERS (Old 100th)
As I was hashing through the wood,
I shat myself, I knew I would,
I cried for help, but no help came.
AND so I shat myself again

THE HARES
OoooH, the Hares of South Lantau,
Are really quite rat-shit now
And the hares of their Dickey-Di-Do hang down to their knees,
And the hares (and the hares) and the hares (and the hares),
And the hares of their Dickey-Di-Do hang down to their knees.
One black one, one white one and one with a piece of shite on,
And one with a fairy light on to show us the way

DOWN DOWN
Balls in a Rat Trap, Squashed Flat!
Down didi down down…down down!

HARE SONG – SWEET BREW ‘O MINE
by Tim (Sweet Caroline)
Beer deda, Beer deda deda, Beer deda daah daah daah

Where it began, I can’t begin to know
But from start it’s going wrong

Was in a spring
And the spring became the shiggy,
Whod’ve believed we’d make it On Home.

Hares, useless hares
Checking back, foxing me, foxing you

Sweet Brew o’ Mine Wo, Wo, Wo
Good times never seemed so good So good, so good
We’re feeling fine Wo, Wo, Wo
Whod’ve believed we ever could

But now I… Look at the trail,
And it don’t seem so shitty
We fill ‘er up with one more brew

And when I thirst,
Sweat runs off my shoulders
How can I thirst when I’m holding you?

Never warm! Blistering Cold!
Reaching out, taking one, taking two

Sweet Brew o’ Mine Wo, Wo, Wo
Good times never seemed so good So good, so good

Sweet Brew o’ Mine Wo, Wo, Wo
Drink it down, down, down, down
Sweeeet Breeew of Miiine!!!
Down didi down down…down down!

OU EST LE PAPIER? (La Marseillaise)

A hashman went to the lavat’ry,
To have him a jolly good shit, shit, shit
He took off vest and his shorts,
So that he could revel in it, it, it.
But when he reached for the paper,
He found that someone had been there before,

Ou est le papier?
Ou est le papier?
Monsieur, monsieur, je fait manure.
Ou est le papier?

YOU’VE LOST THAT HASHING FEELING (You’ve lost that loving feeling)
Dum, di Dum, di dum, dum, dum, dum..
You never close your eyes anymore when you drink your beer
And there’s no urgency to down it like before around here
Your trying hard not to show it ..maybe
But maybe, maybe you damn well know it

You’ve lost that Hashing feeling
Whoaoooa that Hashing feeling
You’ve lost that Hashing feeling
Now it’s gone, gone, gone
Whoaoooaooa

Now there’s no welcome look in your eyes when you reach for beer
Your liver spots are gone and your eyes are clear
It makes us all just feel like crying (maybe)
Cause maybe, it’s time you start buying

You’ve lost that Hashing feeling
Whoaoooa that Hashing feeling
You’ve lost that Hashing feeling
Now it’s gone, gone, gone
Whoaoooaooa

Maybe, maybe, to get down on your knees would be good for you (kneel)
If you would only down one like you used to do,
We’ll have a night, a night you don’t have everyday
So don’t, don’t, don’t let a Hash memory slip away

THE COW KICKED NELLY
OHHHH… the cow kicked Nelly in the belly in the barn
Oh, the cow kicked Nelly in the belly in the barn
Oh, the cow kicked Nelly in the belly in the barn
And the farmer said it would do no harm.
Second verse, same as the first – a little bit louder and a little bit worse…

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9th April Run- SLH3 Away trip to Cheung Chau

RUN #28
DATE:  Saturday 9th April
LOCATION: Cheung Chau
TIME: 3.00 pm start, please show up 15 mins early
HARES: Swing Long -Mark Sex-Kinda.

 

Run Description:

 

This month’s run is the Away Trip to Cheung Chau, an A-to-B run from the smaller pier A to the main pier B. Some great trails planned by hares Swing Long -Mark Sex-Kinda. Bash after planned somewhere new – not the traditional CC food- no Bun fight.

Transportation:  

  • From Mui Wo, take ferry 14:00 to Cheung Chau
  • From DB take 13:15 ferry to Mui Wu then 14:00 to Cheung Chau
  • from Central 14:00 slow or 14:15 fast

Confirmation by email or on Facebook page appreciated.

For more info please email SLH3@gmx.com and find SLH3 on Facebook too!

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SLH3 5th March

Next Run: 15:00 5th March DB

A run for everyone –  a good run, cold blonde beer, beach, babes….image

Hares: Parky & Park’nShop

From Mui Wo – take 1:45 kaido to DB – what could be simpler?

BTW – I’ll need a few helpers to lighten the beer load in the big cooler…either by consumption or as porters!

On On

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Run 21 – Diary of a Wimpy Hash

You know a run was too easy when one of those goddam FRBs (front running bastards) makes it to the end point before you even have time to drive the car down the hill, park, and get out the cooler. That said, when it is 35’C, perhaps the hounds should be grateful that the hares were so kind and merciful, with a short, easy, mostly downhill run from Nam Shan into Mui Wo.

Those who thought it a bit too boring/unchallenging found themselves challenged in the circle, when Slog presented all present with hymn sheets, and led us in a rousing chorus of hash songs. Parkie in particular regaled the crowd with stories of immaculate conceptions as he welcomed back his son, now based in Burma. There were a few new shoes and some virgins, as well as some christenings.

 

Long-time hasher and all around trail expert, Ah Duk, was given his own SLH3 name, Toilet Duck

21-14

One of the Tung Chung bella damas (who later revealed she is severely allergic to gluten) also got flour on her head, taking the name Bunga Bunga.  And this chap whose name I cannot remember revealed that he recently moved out of DB, and was promptly named Sextradited.

21-13

 

Next run promises to be much harder, with Anal Invitation setting a run in DB and promising revenge for SLH3 setting such a wimpy run. See details above and ON ON in September.

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WHAT’S A HASH??

The South Lantau Hash House Harriers meets once a month for a hash — a walk/run based on the British tradition of a ‘hounds and hares’ paper chase.

Two ‘hares’ go out and set a trail, either with chalk, flour, or shredded paper, and it is the job of the ‘hounds’ to try to find and follow the correct trail.

The hash is set with checkpoints and false trails, and often with variations for runners (Rambos) or walkers (Wimps), so no matter your physical, mental or spiritual fitness, there is a trail for everyone.

After the run, there are libations for all, with multiple beastly cold beers for down-downs.

SLH3 runs are $50 for adults and $20 for kids, which includes drinks

 

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Run 20 – The Mafia Black Hash Run

Run 20 – July 11th, 2015
Location – Tung Chung
Hares – Uzzi, Silencio and PeePee

cropped-slhlogo2.jpgThe Unofficial but Totally Real Italian Mafia of Tung Chung organised a Black Hash run, and perhaps with a hint of true Sicilian sadism, they told the unwitting hashers that if they don’t wear black, they gonna fixa your face, okay, tough guy?

Wear black…….. in 35’C at 3pm in the afternoon in July with 100% humidity. Sheesh! Gimme a break!

Taking the runners scrambling across the rocks and through the old fishing village, this A to B run was thankfully pretty flat, and ended up by New Tung Chung Hang where a group of young basketballers were not impressed by our presence on the court, drinking beer and eating pasta. But they didn’t dare come up against the Mafia, what with their mustaches, machine guns, and shots of limoncello.

The virgins had a nice first run which was not too hard, and SLH3 also said a sad farewell to Legally Blond who is moving with her soon-to-be-husband to the UK. We wish them all the best and happy trails at their future hash.

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Run 19 – The Dog Run

Run 19 –  May 23rd, 2015
Location – Mui Wo
Hares – Chinese Laundry and Dr. Lap Sap

cropped-slhlogo2.jpgForget about who let the dogs out….. who the hell authorised all this rain? Starting in Mui Wo near the 5 Cent bridge in a a Red Rainstorm warning, a good pack of dedicated hashers waded to Tai Tei Tong, Pak Ngan Heung, the Silvermine waterfall, up past the old school and back to WangTong. The hares had all their hard work washed away after setting the trail but nonetheless managed to set it again before the troops arrived. Everyone was well wet in the deluge!

This run was also raising funds for the Nepal earthquake relief efforts, and joining in with a local group raising funds who provided some yummy food. Because of the rain, not so many four-legged friends braved the rain on this ‘dog run’, but still it was On On and On Woof for a good cause.

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Run 18 – Tong Fuk

cropped-slhlogo2.jpgRUN 18 – March 7th, 2015
LOCATION: Tong Fuk
HARES: Slog

Giant pineapples, garish trolls, and tiny temples were all part of yesterday’s trail set by Slog in Tong Fuk. The lone hare bravely opened his house and home to the hordes of hashers who came out of the woodwork when they heard there was a fancy BBQ being held after the run. It was a good turnout with about 20 people, including the Tung Chung Mafia, one or two virgins, a visiting barrister, and three little half pints who made it up the hill past the cemetery and onto the catchment. It was a great trail, and several intending Wimps did the Rambo and enjoyed it without even realising it. Some FCBs missed the finish turnoff and were on-on for a 2nd lap for 1km before they suffered enough deja-vu and decided to turn around.

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Run 17 – Shui Hau

cropped-slhlogo2.jpgRUN 17:  January 31
LOCATION: Shui Hau
HARES: Swing Low & Mark Sex

Start/Finish at “basketball court” (BBC) 150m East of village (towards Tong Fuk) where the Kite Surf community access the beach. Bus stops nearby, a long/short split, varied terrain, great views and refreshments after…that was the hares’ vision.

This is what happened…

As previously advised, we took Tai O bus from Mui Wo after boat from DB, looking carefully from the front of the bus for BBC. Unfortunately, off at the wrong bus stop…seeing BBC and pressing bell too late. A quick phone call to Mark Sex. (Hello where do we go ) MS. “I’m stuck in the bush find it yourself”! Unfazed and veteran hashers, we soon found the trail and followed it in reverse across the beach to the start, where a lonely virgin hasher, Brian, was looking lost. We assured him he was at the correct spot…albeit no sign of the hares at A, a 5-side football pitch (FP)…not BBC!

After 15 minutes or so, Swing Low arrived at the start looking confused and unbalanced “she’s in there somewhere in the bush”. As we waited, along came Sol, a previous SLH3 hasher…chatting, we wondered where all others where?…thinking of the Italians, but no sign…maybe lost in translation! Eventually, MS arrived under escort of three walkers, who found who? (we wondered!)

Despite trying but failing to recruit them as new members, Swing Low decided we had waited long enough…and after briefing the mini pack, all 4 of us set off across the beach, with Park’n Shop leading and shouting ON…ON as the kite surfers looked on at this sad but enthusiastic sight!

Squelching through the mushy stuff onto a path, checks were soon sorted and trail marks diligently explained to Brian, who appeared to be taking mental notes for a thesis! But he is Irish! Then across the road and On On up a path via mini construction sites of village house renovations…and then steps up, up, up, to the catchment, where legal athlete Sol took the Wimps/Walkers trail. Being a lawyer and without a fee, he could not be persuaded to join the Rambo pack of three!

Running into the finish MS, SL (with his menacingly sharp shears) and learned friend Sol were well into the beer. On the edge of the FP we were gratefully guzzling the cold beer when a mature looking football team turned up…we were on their pitch! So with good humour we tucked ourselves into the corner to watch the game and cheer on a red shirted Steve Gerard, who never walked alone. Then the Police arrived to arrest us?…no to set up a radar trap for speeders! Later as we vacated our drinking den, finishing with a photo shoot and good banter from Asia’s finest, we hopped on a timely Mui Wo bus to enjoy more fun at the cooked food hall before taking the DB boat home.

Despite small numbers… a great trail and different après run sights and entertainment! Well done Hares.

ON…ON… Park’n Shop and Parky!

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